The Nike Commercial Curse

Below is Nike's 2010 World Cup commercial. By now you have either seen it or at least seen some variation of it. It is spectacular. We blogged about it not too long ago when it first came out. The theme of the commercial is to write the future. Basically saying that you can become a hero or a goat in the World Cup. The potential is endless since there is no bigger stage in all of sports. However, apparently the potential is endless for everyone not featured in the commercial as everyone in commercial seems to be cursed.

Here is the commercial:



Let's run through the players:

Didier Drogba: The commercial starts with Ivory Coast's striker Didier Drogba. One of the best strikers in the world and arguably one of the best in the Premier League. Love him or hate him, he's really good. He was on the Chelsea team that won the Premier League this year. Two weeks after the Premier League ends and right before the World Cup, he breaks his arm in one of Ivory Coast's warm up matches. Granted, he still manages to play in Ivory Coast's three games, but he never had quite the impact people anticipated. On top of that Ivory Coast was just eliminated today. Drogba is done.

Fabio Cannavaro: In the commercial, Drogba's shot is stopped by a sweet bicycle from Cannavaro. It leads to Cannavaro being hailed as a celebrity and some pretty catchy tunes being made about him. Not to mention some pretty flexible ladies paying their respect as well. As mentioned on this blog and as everyone knows, Italy bowed out in the first round. Pretty embarrassing for the returning champs. Not only did they bow out, but their defense was rather suspect throughout the entire tournament. Cannavaro is not only the foundation of that defense, but the captain of the team. You can't blame him for everything, but he's the leader of that team, and that team, especially the defense, never showed up.

Franck Ribery: The commercial then jumps to Wayne Rooney making a pass which Ribery intercepts. Ribery was of course part of the French team that was a complete and total embarrassment during the World Cup. No need to repeat everything. Not that Ribery was the one causing all the headlines, but still part of the cursed team.


Wayne Rooney: Quite a bit of the commercial is centered around Rooney. Probably because he had an amazing year in the Premier League where he carried his team to a strong finish barely behind Chelsea. I'm pretty sure Nike, and the whole world for that matter, anticipated he would do the same with England. But he's been a complete non-factor thus far. There was so much hype and promise for England coming into the World Cup and it was supposed to be Rooney at the helm of the ship and leading the team to glory. Instead the England ship looks more like it's slowly leaking and heading towards it inevitable sinking. Maybe things will change. England has advanced, so he still could write a different history. Thus far though, he looks more like the player in the trailer park than the one being knighted by the queen.

Spain: There is a brief moment in the commercial where three players from Spain throw down a newspaper. The players aren't really highlighted in the commercial so you can't really say they are completely cursed. Yet even their small contribution to the commercial has clearly affected their play as they lost their first game. Good thing they were smart and barely participated.

Landon Donovan: Speaking of small participation, there is a brief clip of Donovan throwing down a newspaper as well. He's been anything but cursed this World Cup. But he's American and Nike is an American company. Thus any Nike curses don't impact him or other American players. It makes sense just like this whole curse makes sense.

Ronaldinho: After Rooney, there is some action by some Brazil players before the ball goes to Ronaldinho. He didn't even make the final Brazil squad. He was cursed before the Cup even got started. Should have been a warning sign to all of the other players. Instead, they were too busy cashing their endorsement check to even notice. Cha-ching! Right Cannavaro?

Cristiano Ronaldo: I'm pretty sure the best part of the commercial is Homer Simpson saying, "Ronal...doh!" Pretty good. Not sure who gets credit for that, but its clever. Anyways, Ronaldo is really the only one where things are up in the air. He hasn't played bad, hasn't played great. Portugal pulled off a tie against Ivory Coast and Brazil and pummeled North Korea. It's still uncertain if Portugal is any good. Regardless, Ronaldo hasn't been much of a factor at all. The commercial has somehow inflated his already enormous ego. Every free-kick Portugal receives, no matter how far away it is from goal, Ronaldo lines up just like he does in the commercial and he always takes a shot. He's clearly trying to "write his future" just like Nike wrote the commercial. Unfortunately, he has yet to put his free-kicks on target, let alone score.

So Drogba, Ribery, Cannavaro and Ronaldinho are all out of the World Cup. Their history is written, and it wasn't a pretty one. Rooney and Spain have a chance to salvage their history even though the start was pretty bad; horrible for Rooney. Ronaldo is the only one that has been decent. But maybe that will change too. Everything changes in the knockout rounds.

Regardless of the finish, of the six players highlighted, four are already finished. Maybe one of the two will write a glorious future. But if the curse is real and they follow suit with the other players, doomsday is right around the corner.

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Fabio Cannavaro fails drug test

ESPN has reported that Italian sweeper Fabio Cannavaro failed a drug test. They didn't say what type of drug it was. Given that Cannavaro sort of looks like a mix between Vin Diesel and Eminem, has lots of tattoos and his preferred hair style is a shaved, you would think that he would have been busted for crystal meth or cocaine. But it appears its just another random 'cream' substance.

I don't really want to dive too much into the steroid discussion with this post. One reason is because it's a little depressing to think that it has infiltrated the beautiful game. One wouldn't think that steroids would be used much by soccer players because as demonstrated from Pele to Messi, it's not a game that is always dominated by the biggest or strongest player. But that doesn't mean that some players might not use substances to recover from injuries faster; or to be as strong and fast and be able to compete with the young players - as would probably be the case with Cannavaro.

But the main reason I don't care to focus on the steroids is because the excuses are always much more entertaining than the story that the person failed the drug test.

Lets start with Cannavaro. Here is the reason provided by Juventus as to the possible reason for the failed test:

''With regards to the news of the launch of an investigation by the Procura Antidoping involving player Fabio Cannavaro, the medical division of Juventus state that they acted within the sanitary prescriptions and the deontological rules, intervening in an urgent manner - last August - following the worsening of the clinical condition following the sting by an insect.

''On that occasion a medical remedy which was indispensable in order to prevent eventual complications, even lethal ones, was used. The player and the medical staff of Juventus will be at the disposal of the Procura to clarify this issue as soon as possible, as well as eventual documentation.''

That's right. When in doubt, go with the bee sting excuse. Not that Cannavaro could come up with any believable excuse since the article says that there is video of him being injected with performance-enhancing drugs in 2005. Video evidence is pretty damning. Hard to talk your way out of that one. But with no video evidence like this one, the best you can come up with was that it was the bug bite cream? Really?


Here are other notable excuses from other sports:

Shane Warne: Cricket. Excuse: Borrowed a pill from his mom to reduce puffiness in his face.
Blaming your mom? Come on. At least blame your girlfriend younger brother or something. Not your mom.


Richard Gasqut: Pro Tennis Player. Excuse: He tested positive for cocaine because he kissed a french woman that may have taken the drug.
"Kissing" must have been used loosely here. When he says kiss he must mean that she licked the inside of his vein, not his mouth.


Ben Johnson: Sprinter. Excuse: His herbal drink was spiked the night before the race.
Come on. Do we really believe he drank his herbs?


Austrian ski team. They were accused and found guilty after blood transfusion materials in their hotel room. Excuse: The equipment was used for ultraviolet radiation treatment of athlete's blood to treat and prevent colds and flu.
Radiation treatment to prevent colds and flu? Radiation? Did they also have cancer? Sounds like rather strong preventative medicine for your common cold.

There are of course plenty more, but they are all the same. Fabio Cannavaro's bee sting cream excuse is creative, but hardly believable. I would be disappointed except that for some reason it doesn't appear that anyone has been able to come up with much better.

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