We here at Fastbreak like to mix thing up and entertain all of our readers while also informing them about the wonderful world of futbol. Thus, we thought the best way to get everyone geared up for the Cup and informed on all of the teams, would be to compare each team with the band or artist that they most closely resemble. If you want to see the entire list of all teams and groups, you can click on the link on the left. You can also jump to each group by clicking on the group on the left.
Without further ado, here's your 2010 World Cup preview:
France: Green Day
Green Day burst onto the music scene with their Dookie album. It was a massive hit. There's no escaping that album as songs from it are still played on the radio. The album had huge hits: "Longview" "She" "When I Come Around" (aka "uhwhen I come uhrouhound") and so on. After Dookie, Green Day sort of fell off the earth. Sure they had the Nimrod album and the Time of Your Life single, but it was nothing compared with Dookie success. Everyone had forgotten about Green Day and cast them off as old and has-beens until....American Idiot, where they once again blew up the music scene and radio stations across the world overplayed their songs so much it was practically impossible not to get sick of Green Day.
Similar to Green Day, France launched into the world soccer scene in 1998. They didn't even qualify for the previous two World Cups. However, they were the host country and just dominated the competition and won the Cup in one of the more convincing finals victories ever. After 1998 however, they went MIA. They were horrible in the 2002 World Cup. They didn't score a goal and were bounced in the first round. By the time 2006 rolled around, they were old and no one expected much of them after a dismal 2002. However, like Green Day, when everyone had cast them off, they came out of nowhere and went to the finals. The media loved it like the DJ's loved Green Day. The Zidane coverage was ridiculous. Especially after the headbutt. Remember the headbutt? That headbutt by Zidane? Yeah, he headbutted a guy. It was a big deal and big headbutt. People couldn't stop talking about the headbutt. Headbutt.
So what can we expect this year? Who knows. France only qualified for the World Cup because of a very controversial hand ball. Thus, the karma gods are against them. They do have a talented team with Franck Ribery, Nicolas Anelka, Patrice Evra, Erick Abidal, and many others. But they have looked terrible, can't find team chemistry and only seem to play well when the World Cup is in Europe. I don't expect much and I'd say that you should count them out, but like Green Day, they have proven you just can't say they are done. Although I'm sure that France would love for me to count them out so that they could prove me wrong - stupid American Idiot.
Do you know who won the first World Cup in 1930? Do you care? If you answered "No" to both of those questions, then your are probably happy to learn that Uruguay won the first ever World Cup in 1930 and then again in 1950. Since then, well, they have at least been a part of the tournament. The had mild success in the Cups in the 60s and 70s and have slowly been tapering off since then.
Beck is Uruguay. He dominated when he first came into the music scene. Everyone of course knows the song Loser, but he also had great albums with Mellow Gold, Odelay and Mutations. Even when he changed his style for Sea Change, people still loved it. Guero was even great, but like Uruguay, he's sort of been fading as of late. His last couple of albums have been completely forgettable. However Uruguay, like Beck, has lots of talent. They also have a great striker named Diego Forlan who has awesome golden locks like Beck. Just look at that sweet hair (I would have put up a picture of Beck running as well so you could see his beauty in motion, but I'm not sure Beck has ever run in his life). Like Beck, the potential is there with Uruguay. Will it actually come out this summer? With such a weak group, its definitely possible.
South Africa: Janet Jackson
On one hand, you could say that Janet Jackson is only famous because of her older brothers. That statement would probably upset a lot of people, but she was born into a music family and she had to become a musician. You could easily argue that she wouldn't have been a part of the music scene without the success of the Jackson 5. The thing is, you can argue with the statement, or you can just say, "who cares how she got into the industry, she is legit. And that's all that matters." Which is very true. Maybe she didn't have to work as hard to get into the spotlight, but once she was there, she held her own.
That's South Africa in the World Cup. They are the host nation. They get an automatic bid. Because they aren't a soccer powerhouse, it's easy to think they are only here for that reason. But there are a few reasons to believe South Africa is actually legit and could do well even though they didn't have to work to get here. First of all, in the Confederations Cup last summer, South Africa held their own against Spain and Brazil - the two best teams in the world right now. South Africa was surprisingly strong. Also, South Africa has a weak group. Who knows what you are getting from France. Mexico is decent but not amazing and Uruguay is a complete wild card. Plus, South Africa is playing at home. That's a huge advantage. They may not have worked hard to get here, but don't be surprised if South Africa holds their own and at least makes it out o the group stage.
Phish has been around for a few decades now. They have never really been a mainstream band but they have a huge cult following. Phish fans will always tell you how amazing Phish songs are and especially how incredible Phish is in concert. They will go on and on about those concerts.
This is Mexico. Mexico has never really been a country that has obtained a huge following apart from their own citizens. On top of that, they have never been that good. They have consistently been decent, but never a serious Cup contender. They always make the World Cup, but never make much of an impact. For the past 5 World Cups, they have been eliminated in the round of 16. They are a strong, decent team. And this year is no different. It won't be surprising to see them make it out of this group because this group is weak, but they won't do much more than that. Like Phish, they'll never make it to the top and win the Cup, but they'll always be around and always have a strong, loyal following.