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Bob Bradley's Wardrobe: The Key to the US Success in the World Cup

So the US has a must win game against Slovenia tomorrow morning. I'm sure they have been making some adjustments in preparation for the game. But one adjustment, which might be overlooked admist all the on-field adjustments, would be to change the wardrobe of Bob Bradley. It very well could be the key to America's success tomorrow, and in the rest of the World Cup. Note some of the examples below:

Exhibit A: Fabio Capello, coach of England. Professional looking guy in very professional dress. You wouldn't expect anything less from 1. an Italian, and 2. the coach of a legit soccer team like England.

Exhibit B: Sven Goran Eriksson, coach of Ivory Coast.

Exhibit C: Maradona, the coach of Argentina who looks like this off the field and used to do a lot of this, he looks like this during the game.

Exhibit D: Germany's coach, Joachim Low, although he looks like he just came from the late 90s or Night at the Roxbury convention, he at least wears a suit coat during the game.

Exhibit E: New Zealand and North Korea, considered by many to be two of the worst teams in the tournament. Both teams actually did better in their opening game than expected. New Zealand tied Slovakia with a late goal and North Korea, although they lost to Brazil, played much better than anyone expected. Why did they play so well? Because both coaches, New Zealand's Ricki Herbert and North Korea's Kim Jon Hun wear suits. At any point during the game, their players could look to the sidelines and see their coach in a suit and know that they were led by a pro. It was the suit that motivated them to play well.

Exhibit F: United States coach Bob Bradley. Notice a difference between him and his colleague Fabio Capello? Or any of the other coaches mentioned above or in the World Cup even? Is he doing a product placement plug for US gear? We know you are the coach of the National Team. You don't need to try and sell their gear. The players can do that for you by wearing their uniforms on the field.

Maybe Bradley hoping that all of the players get injured and they need him to go out on the field and play? If that is the case, is he wearing shin guards underneath the pants? Apparently he already has his cleats on. But if its not the case that he wants to play in the game, then why is he dressing like the players? Is he trying to be "the cool coach." The coach that isn't like the other coaches that sit there in their fancy suits and are mean to their players. "I'm just like you guys. See, I even dress casual. You can talk to me about what's going on in your life."

Seriously though, if the other team is warming up and they see this, then they would probably think they are playing a worthy opponent and that it will be a tough match. That is until they see this on the sideline and realize they aren't really dealing with a professional team. It's like in youth soccer when you watching the other team warm up and you think that they will probably be pretty good until you see a player run out in jeans and you realize that you already won the game.

Anyways, I'm honestly not trying to rip on Bradley. I do actually think he is a good coach and he has done well with the National Team. But this is the World Cup. Big boy soccer. The biggest stage. The US needs to get over the hump and become a legit contender. This might be the way to do it. To put Bradley in a suit. Plus, the next game for the US is a must win game. No room for error. The US needs to come out and play well and be ready for the game. Maybe upping the wardrobe would help get the players ready and send a message that this is an important game. It would let them know that everyone is a professional. Because really, that's what this all comes down to. "Professionalism is...and that is all I want."
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  1. Love those Italians and their suits.

  2. I love that you even think of this stuff Kent. I mean I totally agree, of course. Thanks for making this blog accessible to the non-soccer-playing family members!
    By the way, will there be a future post about "official world cup songs"? I never even knew those existed until Ricky Martin's "La Copa de la vida." Have there really been any since then? Does every world cup have an official song? If so, are any of them as memorable as Ricky's?

  3. Oh, wow. I loved this. Obviously, I came upon it very late (it was linked in another article), but it's still hilarious. One might want to note that the WHOLE Spanish team gets more dressed up for a plane flight, but you've got the other bases covered.

    Once again, tee hee, it's grrreat.


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